'Excuse me, you're sitting on my wife

Whoa! I don't know what I should write! That's like once in one day. If I had two dogs, and replaced them with a cat, would the Theory of relativity still hold? I don't think it would because of the number of atoms in my two dogs would mean that I'd have one frickin' large cat! It would be so fat because my mate Gad just walked past and destroyed my Train of Thought. The train has now gone to the Pink Daisy Chocolate Repair house. Pot Plants. I also like Turkish Delight, I think it is the fresh Turks that give it its awesome flavour! By the way, I ain't old enough to have a wife, though the title is funny.
So I went over the Bowls Club the other day (to those who are stupid or just foreign, Bowls is a sport for old people, but some young ones play too), and I got thinking; What if I got my face stuck in a Pizza? It would be quite weird because of all the cheese going up my nose. I also thought how funny Lawn Bowls actually is because It involves three things: 1 Bending over 2 Lifting heavy things & 3 seeing far away. These of course are the three things old people cannot do! Neither can stupid people or blind mice. Pot plants.
So as I was saying, the Japanese exchange rate is totally biased to those stupid Inuits! They think they can own the world with their fishing thru ice and getting eaten by whales, and camels. But what is the deal with camels? ALICE THE CAMEL WAS A BLOODY HORSE, and a cross- dresser too. I mean what's wrong with cross- dressers? Well the whole having nuts and using them as Puffin Books.
Who else thinks that the Puffin Books Penguin is hot!

I also think stuff.

If pain persists see my dentist for legal action.
Don't you mean your lawyer.
No, I mean my dentist, I haven't got enough money for a lawyer.
Oh, OK
Yeah see?
Yes.
Hmmm
RED CHILIES IN DYNAMITE SAUCE! WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Hmmm
Uhhhh
So... um... Do you, wanna come back to my place?
Uh... Sure why not?

p.s. If my mate *name suppressed* reads this don't say I didn't warn you about the infectious Curry.