Did you hear about the Irish vet who tried to separate a siamese cat?

Hello! Just the blue suicidal lemming here to brighten your day and darken your soul with some happy messages from the nutcases of the modern world.
"THE END IS NIGH!"
"INSANITY IS CONTAGIOUS!"
"THE VIKINGS ARE COMING!"
"THE POPE IS SECRETLY JEWISH!"
"CHOCOLATE CAUSES HERPES!"
"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT!"
We apologise for this interrruption and now return you to your scheduled boredom.